


Fall In Time

by aewgliriel



Category: Star Wars Legends: Legacy Era - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Romance, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 19:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5882428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewgliriel/pseuds/aewgliriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A horrific tragedy occurs, but Jaina Solo can't remember any of it. Kyp Durron is there to help her through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**\--Chapter One--**  
  
 _The dawn is breaking_  
 _A light shining through_  
 _You're barely waking_  
 _And I'm tangled up in you_  
 _Yeah_  
  
 _\-- "Collide", Howie Day_  
  
She slept on, oblivious to his wakefulness, probably to his very presence. Sunlight spilled through the window, bathing her in a warm glow, but he was in shadow, sitting across the room in a chair.

He'd been awake all night, sitting here, her self-appointed protector.

It was so quiet that he could hear her breathing over the echo of his pulse in his ears. Outside, there was an occasional noise, but other than a faint murmur, or a footfall, or the quiet trill of a commlink, there was silence.

How did one go about mending a broken heart when it wasn't their own? he wondered, his thoughts loud in the stillness.

Dark eyes, reddened from the lack of sleep, swept over white sheets, white walls, white floor. White skin. White bandages, hiding ugly red slashes. Only her hair broke the monotony, nearly black in the sea of white.

She sighed in her sleep, stirred. His breathing stopped, and he rose in the chair, froze in his ascent as she settled back into dreams.

She didn't know it, but the only reason she was able to sleep at night was because he sat here and kept her nightmares at bay. She never saw him; she'd said she never wanted to lay eyes on him again.

And then this.

Only his love for her kept him tied to this chair, night after night. The invisible cords bent, twisted, tangled, but they never broke. He'd tried. Oh, how he'd tried.

He always stayed, until this moment, when the sunlight seemed to bring her to life, erasing the pallor, the sorrow.

He felt her begin to waken, and he slipped out of the room.

As he always did, just after dawn.  
  


* * *

 

"She still hasn't spoken?"

Kyp Durron shook his head. "Not according to the staff. She just sits and stares."

Han Solo sighed heavily, leaning forward on the small table in a cantina near the hospital. He spun an empty lomin ale bottle in his fingers, the glass rattling on the wood surface. "I can't help her. I'm her father, and there's nothing I can do."

The Jedi sitting across from him grimaced. "I know, Han. And I wish I could help her, but . . . I'm the last person she wants to see. She blames me, though she won't come out and say it."

Jaina's father frowned, looking up. "What do you mean?"

"Long story," Kyp murmured.

Han's hazel eyes narrowed. "Durron."

The younger man hesitated. "I don't really know, Han. All I know is, an hour before, Jaina told me she never wanted to see me again. Ever. I don't have a clue what I did. So I left, like she asked me to. Next thing I know . . ."

"Yeah," Han said roughly. "Yeah, I know."

They shared a companionable silence for a while. Han ordered another drink, but Kyp hadn't touched his.

"Kid, you're about to drop. What are you doing at night? 'Cause it's obvious you're not sleeping."

Kyp smiled half-heartedly. "Watching over her. Like I should have been doing."

Han pointed a finger at him. "It's not your fault."

"How is it not my fault? I did something, something to make her shut me out, so I wasn't there."

Solo shook his head. "You're not the one who did this, so it's not your fault. Look, kid, you're exhausted. Go home, sleep."

"I can't leave her," Kyp whispered. "I can't leave her to the nightmares."

"Kyp . . . we all have nightmares. I'm gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life." Han looked as if he'd aged thirty years in the past ten days. Kyp wanted to insist that Han sleep, but knew it was pointless. "Do it for her, Kyp. You're no good to her dea-"

He stopped.

Kyp reached over and gripped Han's shoulder. "When she's better . . . when she consciously remembers, we'll get to the bottom of this, Han. I promise."

The older man nodded. "Go, kid."

Reluctantly, Kyp left his friend sitting at the table. He pretended not to notice as Han began to cry.  
  


* * *

 

Denon had a surreal quality to it these days. He knew it was like a million other places in the galaxy, but what had been a place of hope now had a shadow over it, an invisible behemoth of dread that blocked the light and fostered fear.

Not for himself, never for himself. But for Jaina. For Han.

Kyp stood on the balcony of his apartment, overlooking the city-planet, and sighed. It wasn't often that the Jedi Master felt lost. These days, though, he felt as if the galaxy had tipped over and nothing was as it should be.

Ten days, now. Funny how your entire outlook on life could change in seconds. A handful of words, and things would never be the same again.

The sun was setting. Time to go to her.


	2. Chapter 2

**\--Chapter Two--**  
  
 _I'm open, you're closed_  
 _Where I follow, you'll go_  
 _I worry I won't see your face_  
 _Light up again_  
  
 _\-- "Collide", Howi_ e Day  
  
On the eleventh morning, Jaina asked for her father.

On the twelfth, Jag came, face drawn and pale, holding tight to his wife's hand. Jaina looked at him dispassionately, feeling disconnected. 

On the fifteenth, Jaina was released from the med centre into her father's care. She was still weak, still pale. Luke and Mara met them at the Solo residence. Jaina was a bit confused at first, hazy from the medication they had her on for the pain.

Mara, uncharacteristically, grabbed hold of Jaina and wouldn't let her go for ten whole minutes. Han watched with numb, vague surprise, at the tears on Mara's face. Luke led him into the den so Mara could help Jaina get settled.

"Do you want to talk?" Mara asked quietly, as Jaina haltingly--and stubbornly--unbuttoned the shirt she'd worn home.

Jaina shook her head. "Not really," she rasped. She stopped, wincing, as her movements pulled at the bandages across her torso. "Where's Kyp?"

Mara frowned. She had a brief flash of memory, of Kyp kneeling on the floor, covered in blood, holding Jaina's battered body in his arms, screaming. "He says . . . you told him you never wanted to see him again. I believe he's respecting that."

The young woman stopped. Brown eyes fixed on her. "I did? I don't remember."

Mara moved forward and helped Jaina into the 'fresher. "Jaina . . . you haven't asked-"

"I know already," her niece whispered. "And I don't want to talk about it."  
  


* * *

 

On the eighteenth day, the newly-named Mon Calamari cruiser "Leia Organa" dropped out of hyperspace at the asteroid field the galaxy had named The Graveyard. It cruised into position over the center of the rubble of Alderaan.

Gathered in the main hangar were the dignitaries of the Galactic Federation of Free Alliances, soldiers, friends, and family.

Han stared down at his wife. She was so beautiful. Dressed in white, her hair artfully arranged . . . her features frozen, unchanging.

On either side of him, his children stood silent. Luke and Mara stood beside Jacen, Kyp beside Jaina, Jag close behind. Friends gathered around. A large number of those surrounding them were Jedi.

Tycho Celchu stood across from them. He held a small bowl of water. "We have no fountain for the proper tribute, but this will suffice," he said softly. "Han, if you will?"

Han dipped his hands into the bowl and said the words they'd taught him. Jaina and Jacen followed, then Luke, and Mara. Kyp did when prodded in the back by Mara, though he was uncertain why he was included in the ceremony.

Cal Omas said a few words, then Wedge Antilles. The twins shared brief memories of their mother. Han had declined to speak, unsure that he'd be able to get anything coherent out.

Luke stepped forward, to say what Han couldn't.

"Leia was . . . everything this galaxy needed. She _was_ the Rebellion . . . small, but feisty. She was a devoted wife, a loving mother, a wonderful sister. She held this galaxy together through sheer perseverance and stubborn will. I've never met anyone else quite like Leia, and I don't think I ever will."

He stopped, and placed his hand on his sister's casket. "We've lost someone special in Leia, but as long as we . . . remember who she was, what she stood for . . . she'll always be with us."

Jacen placed his hand on his father's shoulder, lending him silent support even though the young man's eyes were filled with tears.

Han walked forward as Luke stepped back, and he fought the well of grief that wanted to suck him down into darkness. "I love you, Princess," he whispered. "So many times I should have said it. I wish I'd said it one more time, sweetheart. I wish . . . I wish I could say it again. I don't want to let you go. What am I going to do without you, Leia?"

He kissed her one last time; she was cool to the touch, and he longed for her warmth. "Good-bye, Princess."

They closed the casket. Wedge, Tycho, Luke, Jacen, and Kyp each took hold of one of the handles, and they slowly carried it to the repulsor pod. They placed it inside, and closed it. Wedge pressed a button and the repulsor pod lifted off the deck and slowly moved forward, through the energy field at the mouth of the hangar, and into the Graveyard.

The twins hugged their father and watched until they lost sight of her for the last time.  
  


* * *

 

Hours later, after everyone else had gone, Jaina sat on the floor of the hangar and stared out at the Graveyard. Kyp wasn't quiet in his approach; he didn't want to startle her. She was closed so tightly she felt like a durasteel wall, keeping him out.

He sat down beside her, unconsciously copying her pose. He didn't speak; there was nothing he could say. The usual platitudes wouldn't comfort her. Things wouldn't be all right. Her mother was dead.

Time passed. He didn't care how long, even though his legs were starting to go to sleep.

"I was there."

Kyp nodded, eyes on her face.

"I don't remember it," she said. "I remember . . . I was mad at you. But I don't remember why. I can't remember very much of that day."

He didn't have any answers for her, so he stayed silent, and let her talk.

Jaina closed her eyes as the massive ship began to turn, headed back to Denon. She didn't want to lose the memory.

"I felt her die, though," she said softly. "That's all I remember. It hurt, and my mother was dying, and . . . I couldn't save her."

"I know," Kyp said softly.

Finally, she turned to look at him. "Mara says . . . you saved me."

He had to close his eyes, not wanting to remember the things that she was silently willing him to tell her. "I felt it," he said. "Your pain. I ran as fast as I could, but . . . not fast enough."

"What happened?"

He swallowed, forcing himself to meet her eyes. He'd already told Han, Jacen, Luke, Mara . . . everyone except Jaina. All those people, and no one had told her. He didn't want to be the one to tell her.

But then . . . perhaps he was the one who should.

"Please," she whispered.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I don't know if you remember, but we had an argument. And you told me . . . you never wanted to see me again. So I left. I was just unlocking the door to my apartment when I felt . . . you screaming. That's the only way I can describe it. You were screaming in my head. I ran, until I couldn't breathe, but I didn't get there in time. You were . . ."

Kyp stopped, not trusting his voice. "You were on the floor, holding your mother . . ."

His voice cracked and he stopped.

"Tell me!"

"Jaina, I can't. Force, Jaina . . ."

Jaina got up on her knees and gripped his hair, forcing his head up. "Tell me," she said quietly. "No one else will. I can't remember, Kyp. Something happened, and I don't remember it. All I know is, my mother is dead and I spent eight days in a coma."

Kyp pulled her hands from his hair and held them. The last thing he wanted was to tell her these things. He wanted to make her happy, make her smile again. Not cause her more pain. "Okay. Okay."

He sighed and tried again. "You were on the floor, both of you, in the living room of your apartment. I . . . I thought you were dead, there was so much blood. Your mother . . . she was already gone before I got there. Then I realised that . . . you were still alive. But you were slipping fast. I held you, and . . . well, I just held you until help arrived."

Jaina sat back, but didn't pull her hands away. "Did you . . . try to save her?"

"Yeah, I tried," he told her quietly. "I tried, even though . . . I knew."

"Oh."

He studied her face. "Jaina . . . in my thirty-nine years, I've never been more scared than when I thought I'd lost you."

She stared at him for several long moments, and her fingers slipped out of his. Jaina climbed to her feet. "That's the problem, Kyp," she said. "You never had me."


	3. Chapter 3

**\--Chapter Three--**  
  
 _Even the best fall down sometimes_  
 _Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_  
 _Out of the doubt that fills my mind_  
 _I somehow find_  
 _You and I collide_  
  
 _\-- "Collide", Howie Day_  
  
"Where are you going?"

Kyp stopped, about to toss his duffel bag into the small cargo compartment of his X-wing. Han stood nearby, glaring at him.

"Away," Kyp said tersely.

"What, you figure now that we've had the funeral, everything's okay and you're just going to run away?"

Kyp sighed, and set the bag down. "No, Han. I'm leaving because Jaina told me to."

The older man looked at him in disbelief. "And you're actually going to do what she says for once?"

A fleeting smile, then Kyp shook his head. "She's mad because . . . I didn't save Leia. She thinks I didn't try."

Han stopped, grief for his wife momentarily overriding his parental indignation. "I know you tried, kid. But you and I both know . . . and Jaina must never know . . . how beyond help Leia was, okay? Don't tell her that."

Kyp shook his head. "No, of course not."

He turned and picked up his bag.

Han's voice stopped him again. "I never took you for a coward, Kyp."

Kyp sighed, turned back. "Insults won't work, Han."

"You have saved my daugher more times than I can count on both hands. And when I lost- You held her together, literally kept her alive. How _dare_ you walk away from her now, when she needs you?"

Kyp looked away. "She doesn't need me, Han."

"The hell she doesn't!" Han stomped over and pointed his finger in Kyp's face. "Give me one good reason I should let you leave here and not shoot you."

He thought about that. "Because I love her."

Han gave him an indecipherable look. "I know, kid. I know you love her. The only reason I still have my little girl, the only reason that she's alive to be mad at you, and not out there with her mother, is because you love her."

"That's not true . . ." Kyp trailed off at the expression on his friend's face.

"No, Kyp, it _is_ true. The _only_ reason you got there in time is because you love her. No one else would have tried as hard. No one else would have spent so much time with her when she was in a coma." Han's voice broke. "How can you even think of leaving her after you worked so hard to keep her alive?"

Several moments passed as Kyp mulled that over.

Then he dropped the bag and shut the cargo hatch.

Turning to Han, he said, "You're right. I can't."  
  


* * *

 

It was an old holo, but it was one of Jaina's favourites. One Han had taken on Duro, just after Jaina and Leia had been relieved of all their hair. The girl and her mother had their arms around each other and they were grinning sheepishly.

Twenty days now, since her mother had died.

She hugged the frame to her chest and curled up on the small bunk aboard the _Millennium Falcon_. She had one cabin to herself, Kyp and Jacen sharing one. Her father was alone in the cabin that he had, for so long, shared with Leia. She wondered how he got through every day, when she breathed cautiously, afraid she'd shatter at any moment.

She found her anger with Kyp dribbling away. He'd tried, she knew he had. She'd seen it in his eyes, in the hangar. So much pain . . . so much love.

Jaina couldn't face that, not now. Eight days of her life were missing, one just a hazy memory that nearly crushed her when she tried to concentrate on it.

She sat up and looked at the dark purple marks on her arms, where a vibroblade had torn her. She would carry these scars for the rest of her life, but she didn't care. They were an outward sign of the scar she carried inside. For the rest of her life, she would see these and remember that she had been lucky. For the rest of her life, she would see these . . . and wonder why.

The marks on her arms were only part of the damage. A large one zig-zagged its way across her stomach. One through her shoulder, all the way through, to mark her back. Shallow cuts aimed between her ribs.

She saw the damage in the reflection plate, but didn't remember it happening.

She must have raised her arms, to ward off attack. They were consistent with that. The one that ran the length of the back of her right forearm must have been the one that brought her defenses down. She understood that it had nearly cost her the use of her arm.

Jaina ran her fingers through the ragged remains of her hair. It had been like this when she woke up, but she remembered that it had been waist-length before. Now it was barely to her shoulders. She touched the ends and shuddered. The medics had not done this. A vibroblade had done this.

She closed her eyes, thought back.

The last thing she coherently remembered was receiving a holo from Jag, informing her of his marriage. He hadn't invited her, because it would have been awkward, for both of them.

She'd ended the comm call, then gone to Kyp. He'd taken her out for a drink, then home to her apartment. That had been the night before. Her memory was fuzzy from the time he dropped her off at the door, and after that, it was blank except for the memory of screaming and pain.

Jaina sat down on the floor as the tears, which had resisted her for twelve days, finally came. Why did it have to be that the one thing she remembered clearly about it was feeling Leia's passing? The memory was as sharp and clear as the blade that had done it.

She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

Then the rage came, bright and hot, though the tears still flowed. She clutched at her hair, pulling at the uneven ends, unaware that she was wailing, an undulating cry that echoed through the ship.

She wasn't aware when the door opened, barely noticed as arms enfolded her, pulled her up off the floor.

"Jaina," a voice said, somehow penetrating the fog of helpless rage against her faceless attacker. "Jaina, don't. Jaina, honey, don't do this."

She subsided, hiccuping, her fingers somehow curled into fabric and no longer tearing at her shorn hair. A warm, comforting presence wrapped around her, warm and yet, somehow cooling, dousing the fire of anger that burned within her. Safe. The only coherent word she could summon for it.

Safe.

She released a shuddering sigh, and succumbed to a welcoming oblivion.  
  


* * *

 

Jacen Solo's head appeared around the edge of the door. He looked shaken, affected by his sister's pain, but somewhat relieved when he saw Kyp sitting on the floor, his back to the bulkhead, Jaina curled in his lap.

"Is she all right?" Jacen asked in whispering tones.

"For now," Kyp said.

"I don't understand," Jacen admitted.

Kyp nodded. He knew what the younger man meant. "She saw it," he said. "She was part of it. But she doesn't remember seeing it. Except when she sleeps. Memories surface then, and they give her horrible nightmares. Eventually, she'll remember it all, maybe. But the trauma from it is still there, subconscious and surfacing."

Jacen bit his lip, not sure what to say. Wanting to help, but not wanting to pretend he wasn't grieving, too.

"It's okay, Jacen," Kyp said. "I've got her."

Jacen hesitated, then nodded. He stepped out and closed the door.

Kyp smoothed Jaina's hair and wrapped his arms tighter around her.

Han was right. He could never leave Jaina. Even if he tried, he'd be drawn back, irresistibly, always back to her.

Funny how tightly she had him in her grasp. Every one of those threads that bound him was held in her small hands. He'd tried severing them, but they were indestructible. He wondered if Han had felt this way about Leia.

No, he knew the answer to that. Han had. And those threads were still intact, leading all the way back to Alderaan. Still in Leia's delicate, frozen hands.

Kyp closed his eyes, burying his face in the strands of Jaina's hair. These threads bound him, in dreams. He knew that she would probably never reciprocate how he felt about her, but sometimes, he didn't mind. If he could have even this much of a role in her life, he would take it. Feeling her small body next to his, he could imagine, just for a moment, that it was his place to hold her like this.

He paused in that line of thought, lifted his head, gazed down at her. Why wasn't it his place? Surely he, out of everyone in the galaxy, had the right to hold Jaina, to comfort her. 

Besides, he _had_ no other place now. Nowhere but by her side.

He didn't dare hope that one day, she'd see it, too.  
  


* * *

 

Han was sitting in the rec room with a mug of caf in his hands when Kyp emerged from Jaina's cabin. He didn't bother to ask if Jaina was okay, just looked at Kyp.

"Sleeping," Kyp murmured.

Han shook his head. "Stubborn kid I got there," he said to himself.

Kyp didn't comment. He merely got another mug and sat down next to Han.

Jacen wandered through, to say that they were nearing Denon. Then he went back to the cockpit. Temporarily acting as Han's co-pilot, filling the space left by Chewbacca, and now Leia. Kyp had the thought that under normal circumstances, the role would have fallen to Jaina. But she was in no state to fly. She was barely in a state to exist.

"Where is she going to stay?" he asked Han.

Jaina's father shrugged. "Guess she could stay with me and Jacen, like she's been doing. Or with Luke and Mara . . ." He trailed off, and sipped out of his mug.

Kyp nodded. Unspoken was the agreement that Jaina could not, under any circumstances, return to that apartment.

_The door is open, which is strange, because it automatically closes when people go through it. The thought is barely a glimmer on the surface of his consciousness. He plows through the door-_

_Blood. Everywhere, brilliant splashes._

_Jaina keeps a fairly simple apartment, pale cream tones, whites, only a few spots of colour. She is always saying she doesn't have time to really decorate. The red strokes are jarring in contrast._

_Jaina! Where is Jaina?_

_Blood on the floor. Where is it coming from?_

_Terror fills him, so cold, so very cold. He calls for her. He can feel her, barely, but his grasp is slippery, as if his hands are coated in the sticky red everywhere._

_What happened here?_

_Then he sees her. The outfit he remembers from that morning, white tunic, beige pants, is now dark red. She is lying in the middle of the living room, her arms around her mother._

_Leia's eyes stare at the ceiling, mouth open in surprise and fear. She isn't moving. She isn't going to, it's obvious, but he checks for a pulse anyway. Not surprised when he doesn't find one._

_He is on his knees now, lifting Jaina, heedless of her wounds. His instinct is to hold her, protect her. Too late, always too late. Always failing._

_Jaina, please don't leave me._

Kyp lifted his mug in shaky hands and took a sip. "I have room," he says quietly. "She can stay with me."

Han stared at him for a very long time. Kyp tried not to wonder what the older man was thinking. He could guess, though.

"That might be a good idea," Han said at last. "I don't want . . . a second attempt. You can protect her."

Kyp set down his mug, not making eye contact with Han. "I'm going to find who did this," he said quietly. "And I'm going to make sure he makes it to trial."

Han raised an eyebrow.

Dark green eyes flicked over.

"And _then_ I'm going to kill him."  
  


* * *

_*"Jaina, we're going to be late. For someone who doesn't do much with their appearance, you certainly take a long time getting ready." Gentle scolding, her mother's teasing tone belying the words._

_Out in a minute. I'm just looking for my shoes." She is on her knees in the bedroom, half under her bed, reaching for a shoe that's just beyond her fingertips._

_here is a chime at the front door. Jaina pulls her head out from under the bed. "Mom, can you get that? It's probably Kyp, back to pester me."_

_"What did he do this time?" Leia calls back, amused._ _  
_

_She resumes looking for her shoe. Vaguely, she is aware of sounds in the other room. The door opening. A surprised noise from her mother._

_A chill runs down her spine. Someone is in the apartment._

_She's on her feet and running, out from the bedroom._

_Something dark, something big, holds Leia._

_Mommy?_

Jaina sat upright with a hoarse cry, flailing in the darkness. Something grabbed her arm and for a moment, she panicked, struggling.

"Goddess, it's me. Shh."

Heart pounding, she stopped struggling. She knew she'd dreamed again, but she couldn't remember it now. It was something scary, though, something that chilled her to the core.

_Mommy?_

Jaina shuddered, grasping at Kyp. "I . . . I think I . . ."

Kyp nodded, his head on her shoulder. "I know, Jay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I can't remember," she said after a moment, sounding small and scared. "I think it was about the attack, but I . . . I can't remember."

His hand, which had been stroking her back, stilled. When he was there, acting as a blastdoor between her and the nightmare, he never saw more than a few flashes. Mostly, he just felt her terror.

"Would you . . ." he began haltingly. "Would you like me to help you?"

She shook her head, her face pressed into his chest. She belatedly realised that it was bare, warm skin under her cheek. "Where are we?"

"Guest room in my apartment. Han thought it was best." Kyp reached over and flicked on the bedside glowlamp. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing his sleep pants only, hair mussed from sleep.

"Why?" She wasn't asking why it was best.

"Because I'm not going anywhere."

"Why?" she asked again.

Kyp stopped. His dark eyes were unreadable. "You _know_ why," he said, very softly.

Jaina looked down, away from those eyes. She noted that she was still dressed, mostly.

Kyp stood up. "I'm going back to bed. Let me know if you need anything."

She watched him go, feeling incredibly ungrateful. But how could she explain to him her reasons? She didn't want to _hurt_ him . . .just keep him away. She didn't want to lose someone else.

Jaina didn't bother to turn the lamp off. She lay in the dim room, trying to go back to sleep. But a phantom haunted her, lurked menacingly in the shadows.

She padded barefoot to his room, knocked softly.

It opened just a second later, as if he'd been waiting on the other side. Always waiting.

"I can't sleep," she whispered.

He quirked a strange smile. "Okay, come on. Let's get a midnight snack and watch a holovid."

Jaina followed meekly behind him, hating how terrified she felt. How helpless.

She caught sight of the scars on her arms, and decided that maybe on second thought, Kyp's was the best place to be.


	4. Chapter 4

**\--Chapter Four--**  
  
 _I'm quiet you know_  
 _You make a first impression_  
 _I've found I'm scared to know_  
 _I'm always on your mind_  
  
 _\-- "Collide", Howie Day_  
  
He was staring at her again.

Jaina tried to ignore it, but she was very aware whenever he was looking at her, and it made her flush. They were at opposite ends of the sofa, with the bowl of treats between them, but for some reason, she felt as if there wasn't _any_ space.

She shifted and tried to pay attention to the holovid they were watching.

Finally, she grabbed the controller for the vid player and paused it. "What?" she demanded.

Kyp jerked, startled. "Huh?"

"You're staring at me. What's the problem?"

He blinked. "Oh . . . I was thinking."

Brown eyes narrowed. "And what, precisely, were you thinking?"

Kyp shrugged. "Just . . . wondering . . . You don't remember _any_ of that day?"

That wasn't what she'd been expecting. Jaina had anticipated something like, "I was thinking how beautiful you look." Not questions about _that_.

"Oh." She looked down at the controller in her hands. "Um . . . I remember very, very little. I mean, other than . . . you know . . . Mom."

He looked at her for a moment, then moved the bowl tot he low table in front of them. "Come here."

Her head lifted. "What?"

He gestured for her to scoot over. "Come here."

"Why?"

Kyp, inexplicably, grinned. "You don't trust me."

"I do . . . from a reasonable distance."

"I'm not going maul you. Though I must say, you look fetching bundled up in that blanket."

Her eyes narrowed. "I fetch nothing!"

Kyp snorted. "Just get over here."

"Why?"

"You use that question a lot," he said. "Reminds me of when you were little and you used it on Threepio incessantly. Nearly made his head explode."

She laughed. It was the first genuine laugh he'd seen in nearly a month. He smiled, relieved that he could make her smile.

"I want you over here because you tend to get . . . overwhelmed when you try to remember, and I can help you more if you're close," he said honestly.

"What makes you think I need hand-holding?" she demanded.

Kyp just looked at her.

Jaina sighed. "All right, all right."

She got up and, still wrapped in the blanket, sat down next to him. "Okay, I'm here. Why do you want to know?"

"Because . . . I want to know . . . if you remember why you were angry with me." Kyp leaned against the arm of the sofa, and after a moment, she leaned against him. Like old times, before whatever rift had temporarily come between them.

"I don't remember," she said honestly. "I think about it all the time, because it had to be important for me to tell you I never wanted to lay eyes on you again."

Kyp paused in stroking her shoulder through the blanket. How had she known the words she'd used, if she couldn't remember? He had paraphrased when telling Han, and even telling her.

"I _think_ . . ." Jaina hesitated. "I think it has to do with Jag and Shawnkyr. I remember getting Jag's holo, and comming you, and we went out for a drink . . . I don't remember much of anything after you dropped me off at my apartment."

"You were pretty tipsy," he murmured. "I flew you home because you couldn't see straight. Then I brought your speeder back the next day, because you'd left it at the cantina."

Jaina felt herself relaxing, her eyes growing heavy. "Must have been something then," she mumbled.

Kyp pulled the blanket higher on her shoulder. "So you don't remember my coming over?"

"Nope." Jaina burrowed closer, letting one of her arms wrap around his torso. Exhaustion had finally caught up with her.

He let out a sigh, and slipped both arms around her. Maybe that was a good thing, maybe it was a bad thing. He'd deal with it later. For now, she felt right in his arms, and he wasn't going to pester her with further questions.

Let her rest, get her strength back.

They could discuss the kiss later.  
  


* * *

 

Sunlight was streaming in through the partially opaque window that opened onto the balcony. Jaina tried to ignore it.

After a few moments, she realised that she was lying on the sofa, partially on top of Kyp, her cheek pillowed on his chest. The blanket that had been wrapped around her now covered both of them.

Kyp was asleep, black stubble shading his jaw. Beneath her hand, his chest rose and fell evenly. He looked younger in his sleep, some of the lines from worry relaxed.

She hadn't realised until now how the little things about him had changed. There was more grey in his hair, a few more lines around the eyes. His features were still sharp and clear, but no longer boyish. A firm jaw and strong chin, well-defined nose, full lips.

Her eyes lingered on his mouth and she blushed to her toes when she realised the wayward bent of her thoughts.

Jaina sat up, retreating to the other end of the sofa, and Kyp woke as she moved.

He rubbed his eyes and propped himself up on one elbow, blinking at her. "Jaina?"

"We fell asleep," she said. "Talking." As if he'd think anything else had happened.

"I see." Kyp drew his legs up until there was a cushion between them, marking an unconscious boundary. "Well . . . what do you want to do today?"

She toyed with the edge of the blanket. "Um . . . I'd like . . . to get my things. But . . ."

"Why don't we hold off on that?" he suggested gently. "We can go shopping and get you some things for now. But going back to your apartment . . ."

She levelled a look at him that rivalled those he'd had sent his way by Leia Solo, and he marvelled at how much Jaina looked like her mother. "Kyp . . . I have to do it eventually, and I can't exactly wait until . . . I'm mostly over it. It's still going to hurt as much in a few days."

"I know," he said. "And I don't want to tell you what to do, but . . . are you sure you're ready to go back?"

"Not to stay," she told him softly. "I can't ever stay there again. But my things . . ."

Kyp sighed. "All right. Let's get dressed, and eat, and then we'll go."  
  


* * *

 

A few hours later, Jaina was feeling up to going outside. Kyp went with her, acting very visibly the bodyguard.

"I hate feeling paranoid and scared of my own shadow," she said once they were in Kyp's enclosed speeder.

"You have reason to feel that way," Kyp reminded her. "It's not weakness, Jay, it's perfectly natural. You don't know what the person looks like who did this, so it's understandable to be afraid."

She gave him a small smile. "Thanks for . . . being here, Kyp. I really appreciate it."

He reached over and gave her hand a small squeeze. "No problem, Jaina. What are friends for?"

Her apartment door had been sealed and unopened, though Jaina had been given clearance to go back to it weeks before. Kyp studied the mechanism attached to the keypad, and then used his lightsaber to slice it off. Jaina put in her clearance code and the door slid open.

Kyp placed his hand at the small of her back. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said, a bit shakily. "Let's get this over with, huh?"

Jaina stepped into the apartment. She'd lived here a little over four years, but now, it felt different. It felt like a stranger's home. Her sofa was gone, she realised, and the carpet had been removed. The walls were scrubbed clean, to their plain, boring white. Their footsteps echoed a bit on the bare metal floor.

"I'm going to pack my things," she said, and hurried through, to the bedroom.

Kyp followed, standing in the open doorway as Jaina hastily threw clothing and possessions into a few packing crates she kept in the closet. "You're welcome to stay with me as long as you'd like," he said.

She looked up, gave him a quick smile. "Thanks. You really are the best friend I could have."

Jaina looked around, and spotted a shoe lying on the floor. She picked it up. "I need to find the mate to this."

She dropped to the floor and looked under the bed. Ah, there was the shoe!

She wormed her way under, as far as she could go, and reached for the shoe. It was just beyond her finger-tips . . .

_"Jaina, we're going to be late. For someone who doesn't do much with their appearance, you certainly take a long time getting ready." Her mother's voice came to her from the living room, amused more than angry._

_Jaina rolled her eyes and grinned. She was under the bed, trying to grab her shoe. "Out in a minute. I'm just looking for my shoes."_

_The front door chimed. Jaina scooted back, hair full of dusty-bunnies, and called, "Mom, can you get that? It's probably Kyp, back to pester me."_

_More amusement from her mother, who appeared briefly in the doorway. "What did he do this time?"_

_Leia didn't wait for an answer. She left Jaina's room and the young woman went back to retrieving her shoe. Beyond the room, she heard her mother's half-muttered comment about stubborn daughter and not knowing a good thing when they saw it, and then the chime again. The door opened. Jaina had her fingers on the shoe-_

_From the living room, there was a sharp gasp from Leia. Something that sounded like cross between a hiss and a growl. Fear and surprise from her mother through the Force._

_Jaina had the distinct thought, "There's someone in the apartment."_

_She pulled back, hitting her head on the bedrail. There was something wrong. She had to get to her mother._

_Wincing from the blow to the head, Jaina scrambled to her feet and ran. A stab went through her and she gasped as she rounded the corner. Something large and reptilian stood in the half-open doorway, holding her mother. One large, clawed hand was wrapped around Leia's neck, the other held a vibroblade the length of Jaina's forearm._

_Blood dripped from the blade and fell on the pale carpet. Leia's eyes were wide with shock. Jaina's eyes went from her mother to the thing in the doorway, and her hand went for her lightsaber. Only, it wasn't there._

_Her mother was hurt. Jaina knew she had to do something . . ._

_The thing's black eyes went wide and passed from Leia to Jaina and back. Then, with an outraged howl, it threw Leia over the sofa, onto the floor._

_Then it was moving for Jaina . . ._

Someone was making short, high whimpering noises, like screaming while trying to hyperventilate. It took Jaina several moments to realise that it was her, and that the bed was on its side. Kyp had one arm tight around her, the other braced against the underside of the bed.

He gave it another push and the whole thing tipped over to hit the wall. Then he held her close, surrounding her with his cloak.

"Shh. It's okay. You're safe, Jaya. I won't let anything hurt you."

"I remember," she gasped. "I was getting my shoe, and I made Mom answer the door . . ."

Kyp pressed his face against her shoulder, slowly rocking her. "It's okay. You don't need to tell me. Not right now. Let's get you out of here, and we'll get you some hot chocolate, and then we'll go to the authorities, and tell them, okay?"

He picked her up, and used a small Force-gesture to right the bed. He set her on it, and sat beside her. "I'll finish packing. You just relax, okay?"

She nodded.

Kyp leaned over and kissed her forehead. He swore, silently, that he would find who did this, find out why. And then he would make good on his reputation.  
  


* * *

 

Mara Jade Skywalker frowned at the sketch in front of her, drawn from Jaina's description. "A Dashade. Humanoid, reptilian. Emperor used them during the Purge to hunt Jedi because they're immune, partially, to the Force. But I thought they were wiped out. I know one of them, Ket Maliss, worked for Xizor, but he had him cryogenically frozen."

"Why would one want to kill Jaina and Leia?" Luke asked. He glanced around the table.

Han was staring at the sketch in silence, looking like he was contemplating a strong drink. Kyp glanced at him, and shrugged. "No idea."

Mara felt puzzled. "The Dashade were largely wiped out about four thousand years ago, when Exar Kun blew up several systems and created the Cron Drift. One of the planets destroyed was Urkupp, their home planet."

She shook her head, and glanced towards the guest room of the Skywalker apartments, where Jaina was asleep, in a Force-induced trance. "This is bad news. Besides the claws and the fangs, Dashade have the rather unique ability to dissipate heat so that they're virtually undetectable by life-sensors."

"Jaina says it used a vibroblade," Kyp murmured.

Mara nodded. "Besides their claws, they use weapons. I don't know why someone would send a Dashade out against Jaina."

"Maybe it was Leia," Han said suddenly. "And Jaina was . . . in the way."

Everyone fell silent.

"Leia . . . _was_ responsible for Xizor's death," Luke said hesitantly. "But I don't see . . . if this _is_ Ket Maliss, why would he wait thirty years?"

"Maybe he was recently unfrozen," his wife offered.

Kyp shoved his chair back from the table and went to the bedroom door, to check on Jaina. She was sleeping peacefully, so deep in the trance he'd put her in that she couldn't dream. Wrapped in his cloak, she looked so small and fragile.

"We'll find who did this."

He glanced over at Mara, who'd come up beside him. "You think so?"

Green eyes met green eyes. "Of course we will," she murmured. "No one hurts her, hurts this family, and lives to brag about it. Do they?"

For once, Kyp and Mara were in perfect understanding.


	5. Chapter 5

**\--Chapter Five--**  
  
 _Even the best fall down sometimes_  
 _Even the stars refuse to shine_  
 _Out of the back you fall in time_  
 _I somehow find_  
 _You and I collide_  
  
 _\-- "Collide", Howie Day_  
  
In the wake of Leia's passing, Jaina spent more time with her father and brother than she had in the previous four years. And since Kyp refused to leave her side, this meant that he was virtually a member of the family these days.

"I'm surprised," Jacen said to his sister, as they sat in the Solo kitchen. Han and Kyp were in the other room, discussing something or other. The twins had wanted time alone. They were occupied with picking over the leftovers from dinner.

"About what?"

"Kyp. I mean, from seventeen on, I didn't like him much. But after I came back, I dunno. He was tolerable." He grinned at her. "Though I've had the brotherly urge to threaten the Sith out of him."

Jaina rolled her eyes. "Please. No need for brotherly threatening. Nothing's going on."

"Maybe not, but the way he looks at you sometimes has me wanting to punch his lights out." Jacen poked at a grilled tuber wedge on his plate. "Only sometimes, though. It's been two years since you and Jag split. You deserve to have someone look at you that way."

Jaina leaned forward. "Kyp's looked at me that way since I was eighteen, Jasa. It's nothing new."

Her brother looked solemnly at her. "The way you look at _him_ is."

She flushed, remembering when she'd woken up in his arms on the sofa, and shook her head. "What way? I don't look at him like . . . well, like that."

Jacen raised an eyebrow, but didn't contradict her.

To change the subject, Jaina asked, "What about you? I know you're still doing your hermit thing, but how are you doing in the romance department? You see Danni recently?"

Under his closely-trimmed beard, Jacen turned pink. "No. Not for about a year. But I was on Hapes recently . . ."

His sister grinned. "And how _is_ the Queen Mother?"

"She's fine." He suddenly looked wistful. "You know . . . I've been thinking a lot, since Mom . . . passed away. Danni was a diversion, but even when I _was_ interested, I knew it was passing. And seeing Tenel Ka recently . . . Well, I'm not- I mean, I'm not tied to the order . . . I thought maybe I could . . ."

Jaina smiled. "You two have loved each other for a long time. I think you should give it a chance."

Jacen nodded. "I want to."

Kyp and Han came in and joined them. Jaina watched as Kyp moved around the table to sit beside her. Jacen watched her, and muttered, "The Sith you don't."

"What were you guys engrossed in?" Jaina asked, somewhat loudly, to cover her brother's mutterings.

"Plans for drawing this Dashade out," Kyp said. "Just about the only thing we can think of is using bait."

Han went to one of the cabinets and got out a bottle of Corellian brandy. He poured some for himself, and some for Jaina. Kyp accepted some. Jacen hesitated, but in the end, had his father pour him a small amount.

"How familial," Jaina murmured. "Getting schnockered together."

Jacen snorted.

"Of course," Han said, ignoring that, "there's the possibility that . . . he won't come back, with Leia gone."

Despite the presence of the brandy, it was a sobering thought.  
  


* * *

 

"I remember now," Jaina said, as she clung to Kyp's arm on the way down the hallway towards his apartment. "Why I was mad at you."

Kyp paused as she tripped and nearly fell over. "You had way too much of that, Goddess."

She giggled. "I was mad at you . . . because I kissed you."

He gave her a half-smile. "Do we have to discuss this in the hallway?"

Jaina wasn't paying attention anymore. She was looking at something sitting on the floor, leaning against Kyp's door. "Ooh, you have a package."

He took two long strides and was around her before she could pick it up. She'd probably fall over trying. "Come on, Jaina. We can look at it inside."

Kyp unlocked the door and ushered Jaina inside. She was still giggling. He had to smile. She was certainly . . . amiable when she was tipsy. He remembered all too well.

Jaina stumbled over to the sofa and flopped on it. Her hair, which she'd had "fixed" recently, fanned out around her as she lay on her back. Kyp sat on the back of the sofa.

"You need to lay off the brandy," he told her. "You get grabby."

She was sober enough to look offended. "Grabby? I prefer . . . friendly."

"Grabby, friendly, whatever. You start groping." Not that Kyp minded . . . he just didn't want it to be alcohol-induced groping.

He turned his attention to the envelope in his hands. It was opaque flimsiplast, padded, with his name and address on a typed label on the front. Leaving Jaina giggling on the sofa, he went into the small kitchen and retrieved a knife to slit it open.

He pulled out just one thing: brown strands, held together in a thick coil by a short strip of leather.

Shock rippled through him and his hands went numb. The hank of hair spilled out of his hands and onto the floor, sliding through like shimmersilk. It was obscene.

It was Jaina's.

With shaking hands, Kyp retrieved it and stuffed it back in the envelope. He pulled out his commlink and made a quick call to Intelligence.

He went back into the living room and found Jaina was asleep on the sofa, gently snoring. He carried her into his bedroom, which was closer, and sat for a moment on the edge of the bed.

He was cold, very, very cold. For the first time, he was afraid to think that maybe, he _couldn't_ protect her.  
  


* * *

 

Mara Jade Skywalker arrived early the next morning, along with the Intelligence people who were there for the envelope. She watched with interest as they searched Kyp's apartment for fingerprints or anything else that would come up on sensors.

"Something happen?" she asked.

Speaking in low tones, Kyp said, "I got a package yesterday. It was here when Jaina and I got back from Han's." He folded his arms across his chest. "Her hair was in it."

Mara's face went momentarily slack, and then hardened. Her green eyes glittered. "He sent it to _you_?"

Kyp nodded. "It was addressed to me. It looks like . . ." He swallowed, face pale. "It looks like he tied her hair back, and then chopped it off just above the tie. Probably with the weapon. I think . . . I interrupted him."

"You probably did, given the time frame. You only live, what, two buildings over?"

Another nod. "I don't think this was about Leia. I think Jaina was the original target, and it has something to do with me, but I don't know why."

Mara glanced over at the Intelligence operatives. "Normally, I'd say that was your ego talking, but I think you're right. If Leia was the target, and Jaina just got in the way, there wouldn't be a reason to take her hair, or to send it to you. and it doesn't make sense for it to be just Jaina, because there, again, why would they send you her hair? I know you have enemies, Durron, but the people I know would just flat-out kill you."

Kyp ran a hand through his dark hair. "I know," he said miserably. "I want to take comfort in that he'll probably try again, so I can get him then, but . . . what if I can't?"

Mara studied him. "You will," she said. "You're still alive for a reason. Maybe keeping Jaina alive is your reason for existence."

She frowned. "Speaking of my niece, where is she?"

"Asleep. Probably hung over. We got back kind of late from Han's, and we were both a little . . ."

Mara nodded. "Corellian brandy. Han invited us over for some yesterday, but we had a parent-instructor conference at Ben's school." She snorted. "Apparently, they're not equipped to deal with Force-sensitive children."

"Especially not Force-sensitive seven-year-olds?" Kyp asked.

"Especially." Mara rolled her eyes. Then she poked Kyp in the chest. "I may not like you much, but you're good for Jaina. Don't make me regret letting her make up her own mind."

Kyp's mouth dropped open. He struggled to make a response, but Mara had already slipped out. What the Sith was she talking about?

He shook his head and went to check on Jaina.  
  


* * *

 

By silent agreement, no one told Jaina  what had been in the envelope. Kyp made up an excuse about it being something Council-related. She seemed to accept it without much prying.

She didn't forget, however, about the kiss. She brought it up once or twice, and apologised for yelling at him the way she'd done that fateful morning. She explained that she'd thought he'd been taking advantage of the news about Jag, which she knew he hadn't been.

Kyp shrugged it off, telling her not to worry about it. But he couldn't just shrug off the memory of them standing by his speeder at the cantina, as he tried to help her in, and the way she'd suddenly gone from giggly to very soft and warm, and she'd pulled him close, slid her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

The memory haunted him, with her sleeping in the next room. He'd imagined a million times all the ways he'd wanted to initiate that first kiss. Only in his wildest dreams had he thought that maybe she'd make the first move.

It was just his luck that she'd kissed him because she was so drunk she couldn't walk straight.

Sitting at the table in the small kitchen in his apartment, Kyp watched as Jaina picked at her food. There were a million things he wanted to say to her, to take away that desolate look on her face that crept in gradually as she let her guard down each evening. But they were all lodged in his throat, rendering him speechless, and so he stayed silent and sipped from his mug of caf.

Finally, Jaina put down her fork and raised her eyes.

"There's no other choice," she told him. "We're going to have to use me as bait."

"I don't want to do that," he said immediately.

For once, there was no flash of fire in her eyes when she looked at him. "I know, Kyp. I know you don't. I don't want to do it, either. But I don't want to live the rest of my life in fear."

Their eyes met, and silent understanding went between them. He protected her now, but eventually, in time, they would let their guards down, and he would look away for a fraction of a second, and he'd lose her. They both knew it.

He nodded silently, and sipped from his mug.

She picked up her fork and resumed eating.


	6. Chapter 6

**\--Chapter Six--**  
  
 _Don't stop here_  
 _I lost my place_  
 _I'm close behind_  
  
 _\-- "Collide", Howie Day_  
  
Jaina's lightsaber hung from her hip, swinging jauntily as she walked beside Kyp across a large open space in the merchant district near his apartment. She was dressed in civilian clothes, black pants, a light brown shirt, and several belts, one of which carried a blaster. Her dark hair bounced as she walked.

"You haven't had your hair this short since you came to find me, back before Sernpidal," Kyp observed.

"For a reason. I hate it." Jaina tried not to glance around.

They were in the most public place they could think of on short notice, with the largest area. The people currently occupying the square were not civilians. All were either Jedi or military, all posing as civilians, all in disguise. All knew what to do in case their quarry showed up: keep him from fleeing, kill him if necessary. For the most part, though, they were leaving him to Kyp.

Kyp was dressed in minimal robes, but wore his cape so as to be the most visible he could. And he was watched, he knew. Besides the guarded glances of the backup all around them, he felt the weight of something malevolent against his skin.

"Jaina," he murmured.

"I feel it," she said. "Took the bait rather quickly, didn't he?"

"Of course. He's already shown a marked lack of forethought with things." Kyp's hand brushed the handle of his weapon. "When he attacks, I want you to get clear."

"You're not doing this without me, Ego Boy." Jaina's eyes narrowed. "He killed my mother. If anyone should kill him, it should be _me_."

"Seeking vengence isn't the Jedi way," Kyp reminded her.

She snorted. "Please. You're not my master anymore, Kyp. And I know that you're planning to kill him for the same reason I am. Besides, if he hurts you, there's _nothing_ that will keep me from finishing him."

Jaina reached up to rub the pendant she was wearing, and pressed the button on the back side of the center jewel. "Solo to Command. Any sign of him?"

"Negative, Colonel Solo."

"Copy that." Jaina dropped her hand and turned to Kyp. "They haven't seen-"

There was a whisper of sound, and then something hard slammed into Jaina, knocking her to the pavement. She hit with an explosion of air from her lungs and lay there for several moments, blinking at the spots dancing before her. She must have hit her head, though the throbbing hadn't started yet.

Kyp whirled, blade snapping to angry wakefulness. The thing facing him was tall, at least half again as tall as he was, though it stooped forward, clawed hands held in front of it to ward off an attack.

"Durron," it hissed.

Kyp nodded slightly in acknowledgement.

"I have waited a long time for thissss," the Dashade said. "At lasssssst, I have my revenge."

"Revenge for what?" Kyp asked. "I've done nothing to you."

"Dessssstruction. Wanton dessstruction of life." The reptilian being cocked its head to the side. "I know you, Durron. You are the Killer of Carida. Sssssso like your teacher, you are."

Suddenly, it fell into place in Kyp's mind, the last piece of the puzzle.

"You're taking revenge on me for what Exar Kun did to your home planet four thousand years ago?" Kyp's green eyes narrowed. "How do you figure that?"

His opponent pulled something small and slender, with a metallic sheen, from his belt. "You are the ssssstudent of Exsssssar Kun. I know becausssse I have lissstened, Durron. I have watched. I am a trained asssssassssin, do you think I am a fool?"

Kyp shrugged. "You messed with the Solos and Skywalkers, of course you're a fool. But what makes you an even bigger fool is . . . you messed with _me_."

He lashed out with the Force, slamming the Dashade back thirty metres, where the alien hit the pavement and skidded, his armor screeching on protest. But it didn't even faze him, and he was on his feet in an instant, charging back at Kyp.

"Oops," the Jedi Master murmured.

The thing in the Dashade's hands made a familiar sound, and Kyp realised with quite a bit of dread that the thing had somehow acquired a lightsaber. The blade was blue, and Kyp had the momentary thought that he should have been red. After all, didn't the bad-guys have red lightsabers?

He held his ground, and met the first, somewhat inexperienced thrust of the Dashade's weapon. Kyp was familiar with his weapon, the one he had inherited from Gantoris, and he used that to his advantage. Aggression be stanged, this thing was going _down_.

The Dashade was undeniably quicker, and taller, which meant his reach was longer. But Kyp had the Force . . . and a dual-phase lightsaber.

Jaina slowly got to her feet, watching the fight with one hand to her ringing head. Kyp kept dancing out of the Dashade's reach, and his blade length spiked up and down, startling the Dashade. It _looked_ like Kyp was winning, but there was a nagging feeling in Jaina's stomach. She unhooked her lightsaber from her belt.

With an abruptness that filled Kyp in on how stupid he'd been, the Dashade reached down, dug his claws into Kyp's arm, and wrenched. His arm going numb, Kyp dropped his blade and cried out. Then the alien tossed aside its lightsaber and went after Kyp with his claws.

Jaina screamed, which distracted the Dashade. Kyp managed to direct his fall, with his vision going in and out, and crashed against the thing's legs, making him stumble.

"Stupid," Kyp murmured. "Getting too old for this."

Jaina's lightsaber roared and crackled as she launched herself across the ten or so metres between herself and the Dashade, and threw herself into an all-out attack. Anger fueled her in the initial attack, but instead of letting it control her, she let it slip away.

She turned her wrists, spinning the blade, and the Dashade's claws sheared off. Another turn, and his forearms fell.

The Dashade kicked a leg out and tripped her. Jaina momentarily extinguished her blade as she fell, rolled-

His foot connected with her hand and her lightsaber went flying. She rolled again, trying to ignore the stinging in her hand, and she reached out for Kyp's lightsaber, pulling it to her with the Force. To her horror, she saw, as the blade snapped into her hands, that the Dashade's arms were _regenerating_. And a lot faster than they should have, especially since they were cauterised.

"Kriff," she muttered. "I hate reptiles."

She risked a glance at Kyp. He was bleeding profusely. She had to end this quickly, or she'd lose someone else.

"You want to talk about revenge?" she taunted. "Kyp didn't do anything to you, you overgrown lizard. But you did something to _me_. You killed my mother. You nearly killed me. Now you've hurt him. And I'm going to kill you."

He snorted, advancing on her, his arms almost completely regenerated now. Interesting bit of information she'd have to pass on to Mara.

Jaina watched his approach, deciding that to play injured was her best bet right now. Her eyes went to his leg. _Come closer_ , she thought.

He raised his booted foot, intent on stomping on her. Jaina reached out with the Force and shoved his other leg. Too surprised to make a noise, he toppled forward . . . right onto the upraised blade of Kyp's lightsaber.

Jaina lay there, stunned, as the Dashade twitched, half atop her, oozing gore. "Ewwww," she commented.

Several of the soldiers were tending to Kyp, and one came over to help Jaina. She and the soldier shoved the thing off and she got to her feet.

The Dashade was still alive, conscious, and glaring at her with reptilian eyes. Jaina looked at the lightsaber, then over at Kyp, who was being lifted onto a stretcher.

Looking back at the Dashade, she ignited the weapon, swung it, and decapitated the assassin. The tip of the lightsaber dug a red-hot furrow in the duracrete and the head bounced away. She pulled her blaster off her hip, sighted, and fired.

"I don't think he'll be regenerating _anything_ ," she said.

Then she holstered the blaster, her father's trusty sidearm that he'd loaned her for this occasion, and went to see about Kyp.


	7. Chapter 7

**\--Chapter Seven--**  
  
 _Even the best fall down sometimes_  
 _Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_  
 _Out of the doubt that fills your mind_  
 _You finally find_  
 _You and I collide_  
  
 _\-- "Collide", Howie Day_  
  
It was her turn now, to watch him.

Jaina stayed by his side through the night, hold his bandaged hand in hers. Han and Jacen tried a few times to get her to leave, until Mara intervened.

Jaina knew now that Kyp had watched over her when she was injured, and she couldn't leave him now. He was here because he had wanted to save her. How ungrateful would she be if she didn't return the favour?

The monitors beeped softly in the background. He wasn't on a respirator, which was good.

 _Wake up_ , she willed him silently. _Please wake up._

She rested her head on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes.  
  


* * *

 

Kyp woke the next morning. His healing trance had helped immensely, and most of the damage had been repaired. Jaina stayed back, not sure what to say to him. "Thank you" was grossly inadequate.

Finally, Han, Jacen, and Luke left, and Jaina found herself alone with Kyp.

"You killed him," he said.

"Well, you were bleeding to death, so I couldn't exactly wait for you to get up and do it." They'd cremated the Dashade, creeped out by the fact that the headless corpse was healing itself.

"Ah, I was fine," he said. "I was just . . . regrouping."

There was an awkward silence.

"You scared us," she said, eventually.

He quirked a half smile. "Why? It's going to take more than that to take me out."

"Boy, can the dial go up any higher on your ego?"

Kyp grinned.

"We got him," Jaina told him.

He didn't look happy about it. "Not soon enough," he said.

Jaina sat beside him, perched on the side of the bed. "You didn't fail anyone, Kyp. No one holds you responsible for Mom."

Green eyes lifted. "Not even you?"

She shook her head. "Not even me. The only one responsible was that psychotic. Not you. And you'd better not hold yourself responsible for anything he did. You didn't make him do anything."

A wealth of tension flowed out of him and he sank into the pillow.

"I'll let you rest," she said. "I hear you're being released tomorrow. Would you like me to pick you up?"

His expression was unreadable. "If you want to."  
  


* * *

 

She returned to Kyp's apartment that night, and as she sat in the middle of his bed, she knew this was the last night she would spend here. The danger was over, Kyp would be home.

She commed her aunt and arranged to stay with the Skywalkers, and packed her things. Eventually, she would find a new apartment. Jaina knew it was necessary, but she felt sadness at the thought of leaving. It was safe here, comfortable.

She passed a restless night, searching deep within herself, cataloguing the changes, and in the morning, was only a little closer to an answer.  
  


* * *

 

At the med centre, Jaina handed Kyp a bag with clothes in it, and his lightsaber. "Here you go. Is there anything else you need?"

"Decent food," he said, taking the worn handle. His fingers brushed hers, and for a moment, she didn't let go of the weapon.

"I think we can arrange that," she said with a smile that she hoped hid the sudden fluttering the brief touch had caused. "Get dressed so we can get you out of here."

She waited in the hallway until he told her she could come back in. He was pulling on his boots when she opened the door and tentatively re-entered. "Where do you want to eat?" she asked, focusing on watching him lace the scarred, battered footwear.

"Home," he said. "Don't feel like going anywhere."

She paused, thinking of the packing crates in the living area of his apartment. She had to tell him, prepare him. "Okay . . ."

He looked up, green eyes concerned despite his obvious fatigue. "What's wrong?"

Jaina hesitated, biting her lip. She didn't know how he was going to react. But she had to tell him at some point, and now was as good as any.

"I'm moving out," she said. "Going to stay with Aunt Mara and Uncle Luke."

Kyp slowly straightened, too tired and injured to hide the flare of pain in his eyes at her pronouncement. He'd known it was coming, but he hadn't known it would hurt this much. Worse than the claws of the Dashade, the thought of letting her walk out of his life like this cut deeper than any of the injuries he'd sustained.

"Why?" he asked softly.

"Because it's time. The danger's over, and I don't want to impose on you any more." The words felt wrong somehow.

His features tightened. "If that's the way you feel . . . I shouldn't impose on you, then. I'll get an air-taxi."

He picked up his bag and walked out the door. Jaina's mouth hung open, and she inwardly marvelled at how badly that had gone. She shook her head, and then ran after him.

"Kyp!"

He stopped, some distance down the corridor, backlit by the lights at the medic's station. He very slowly turned on one foot, using the bag for balance. She skidded to a halt a few metres away.

"I don't . . . don't meant it that way," she said haltingly. "I just . . . I can't help myself it I stay." She closed the distance. "I want to. I want desperately to stay, which is why I shouldn't."

"I don't understand."

Jaina chewed on her lip for a moment. "Because I want . . . to come back, when it's right. If I stay, now, I'll hate myself. I want more."

He set the bag down. "Let me see if I get this: you're leaving because you want to come back?"

She nodded.

"Goddess . . . that makes no sense whatsoever."

She licked her lips. "Okay . . . maybe this will help."

She stood on her toes, pulled his head down, and pressed her mouth to his.

When he pulled back, his eyes were wide. He raised his eyebrows. She gave him a timid smile.

Realisation came to him and his face lit. For a moment, he looked at her with delighted surprise, during which he processed the impossibility of the moment, Kyp crushed her against him, feeling that he could never let her go. The ache from his wounds disappeared as he kissed her.  
  


* * *

 

"How long are you leaving for?"

"Not long," she laughed. "Of course, the sooner you want me back . . ."

Kyp smoothed her hair back. "Yeah, I know."

He pulled her forward and planted a kiss on her upturned mouth. "I'm going to get you back. You're mine."

"Not yet, she ain't."

Kyp held Jaina closer as Han came in. "That's what you think," he replied.

Jaina laughed and hugged Kyp. "A month," she said. "You can handle a month."

"I can't handle a day. I'm going to spend all day, every day, with you."

"You'd better."

He kissed her again. "I'm counting the days."

"Why are you taking all this stuff?" Jacen asked, sticking his head in the door. "Why not just leave in here?"

Han waved him off. "C'mon, kid, let's get this stuff hauled out of here."

Jaina leaned her head against Kyp's chest. "I _could_ leave some of it here . . . But I kind of need my clothes."

"Leave whatever you want here, I honestly don't mind," he murmured. Kyp kissed the top of her head, then her temple. "A month . . . why a month?"

"Because I figured that's the longest you could wait before kidnapping me," she said with a smirk, pulling back to look up at him.

He lifted both eyebrows, looking speculative. "Kidnap you, huh?"

"Don't you even dare," she laughed.

Kyp ran his fingers over her face. "It had better be only a month. One day longer than that and I _will_ kidnap you."  
  


* * *

 

After Kyp reluctantly left that night, Jaina stood by the closed door for a full minute with a wistful smile on her face.

"You really love him, don't you?"

Jaina dragged herself out of her musing and turned to her aunt. She grinned. "I do. Took me long enough to realise it."

Mara handed her a mug of something warm and sweet, not caf. Some sort of cider. "I had my doubts, but I have to say, he certainly is devoted."

She led her niece into the living area of the Skywalker apartment and they sat on the sofa. Mara drew her legs up under herself and watched Jaina for a moment.

"The day . . . your mother died," she began, "we all felt the attack. Luke and I got there as quickly as we could. Kyp, obviously, was quicker. I got into the apartment before Luke did."

Jaina's hands felt cold; she clutched her mug tighter, but didn't tell Mara to stop.

"I've seen a lot of horrible things," the former assassin told her. "But I've never seen anything quite as devastating. Kyp _did_ try to save your mother. You weren't quite as . . . bad off as Leia was. We think that Kyp's arrival interrupted your attacker, which was the only reason you were alive when Kyp got there."

Mara looked at her niece, and there were tears in her eyes. "I will never forget, ever, the sight of Kyp kneeling on the floor, literally holding you together. You know he and I have had our differences. I just . . . never realised just how much he cares for you until I saw him begging for your life."

Jaina took a sip of her cider with trembling hands. Five months had passed since that day, and the thought still haunted her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this," Mara said.

"No, it's . . . it's all right. Kyp already told me." She looked into her mug. "I have to wonder, though . . . if Mom would have approved. Of me and Kyp."

Mara reached over and tucked a lock of Jaina's hair behind her ear. "She'd approve. You're happy, and that's what she always wanted."

Jaina smiled. "Thank you, Aunt Mara. I don't know what I would have done without you and Uncle Luke."

Mara's green eyes looked a little amused. "You would have survived. It's without Kyp you wouldn't have made it. But thank you."

"Mommy?"

The two women looked over the back of the sofa, towards the doorway. Ben, red hair tousled from sleep, one pant-leg up around his knee, was rubbing a fist against his eye.

Jaina smiled at the sight of her cousin. "C'mere, Bennie," she said.

The child came over and sat on the sofa, curling up against Jaina.

Mara set down her mug. Eyeing her niece, she asked, "Have you and Kyp started thinking about kids?"

"Er . . . no. I mean . . . we just got together . . ." Jaina knew her face was a bright red.

"You should think about it." Mara grinned. "Of course, it's the getting them that's the fun part."

"Mara!"


	8. Chapter 8

**\--Chapter Eight--**  
  
 _You finally find_  
 _You and I collide_  
 _You finally find_  
 _You and I collide_  
  
 _\-- "Collide", Howie Day_  
  
"How are you feeling?"

Jaina didn't even look up from her datapad. "Fine. It's only been three minutes since the last time you asked."

Kyp perched on the edge of their bed. "So . . . nothing yet?"

"Nothing yet. You'll be the first to know, trust me."

Jaina's datapad rested against the bulk of her advanced pregnancy. It had been a surprise, a honeymoon baby. Though Jaina supposed that in an oddly poetic way, it shouldn't have been a surprise; her due date was the second anniversary of her mother's death.

Of course, that due date was also two weeks past, which was what had Kyp ready to jump for the door at any second.

The baby had been strangely quiescent today; normally, their daughter was active and kicking everything she could, but the baby was peaceful, perhaps waiting.

Kyp reached out and placed his hand on Jaina's abdomen. "I can't help but worry," he told her, as he used the Force to sense his daughter. "It scares me that this is something I can't protect you from."

Jaina turned off the datapad and placed her hand over his. "I know. But you shouldn't worry. We'll be fine, both of us."

"I still think you should have had labour induced two weeks ago," he said.

"She'll come when she's ready," Jaina said mildly. "Won't you, Kalyn?"

Kyp's brow wrinkled as a strange expression crossed his wife's face. "Jay?"

"Actually," she said breathlessly, "I think that would be _now_."

"It's about time!" he said, and sprang into motion.  
  


* * *

 

Kalyn Leia Durron was born six hours later. Han was the proudest grandparent ever, and showed his granddaughter off to anyone who stood still long enough.

Kyp watch with amusement as he sat by Jaina's side, and wiped her sweaty brow. "You okay?"

"Tired," she said.

"You have a right to be," he laughed quietly. "She's _huge_!"

Jaina smiled wanly. "I'd like to see _you_ try what I just went through."

"Don't think so. I fully admit that women are superior to men."

Nearby, Jacen laughed. "Nice save, Kyp."

Kyp pressed his lips to his wife's hand and ignored his brother-in-law. "You are so beautiful, Goddess. And so is our baby."

"You better remember that, when I make you get up in the middle of the night to change her diapers." Jaina reached up and ran a hand over his black curls, which Kalyn had inherited in abundance. "I just wish Mom was here to see her."

_"I am."_

Jaina looked up, and saw the figure of her mother standing opposite Kyp, by her bedside. Tears flooded her eyes in an instant. "Mom."

Jacen and Kyp both turned, and were amazed to find that they could see her, too.

"I'm proud of you, Jaina," Leia continued. "And you, Jacen. Thank you for being there for each other. And Kyp?"

He swallowed, suddenly nervous. "Yes?"

"You be good to my daughter, and to my granddaughter. I'll be watching."

He nodded rapidly. "I will. Of course I will."

Leia smiled, and looked at Jaina again. "I have to go now, baby. Remember that I love you, and I'll always be with you. And . . . tell your father that I love him."

"I will," Jaina promised in a whisper. "I love you, Mom."

Then Leia was gone.

Han stepped back into the room, Kalyn in his arms, to find Jaina sobbing in Kyp's arms, and Jacen with his hand on his sister's shoulder. "What'd I miss?"

Jaina looked up, and she was smiling despite her tears. "We had a visitor . . ."


End file.
